First Week is the Hardest

I started feeling really good Sunday. I don't know why, but I'm not complaining. After more than a week of nausea from all of the meds, I am ready for feeling good. Here is a list of the pills I take daily:

6, 1 mg Prograf (Tacrolimus) - prevents rejection
2, 350 mg Myfortic (Mycophenolate sodium) - prevents rejection
4, 5 mg Prednisone (steroid) - prevents rejection
1, 450 mg Valcyte (valganciclovir Hydrochloride) - treats/prevents viral infections
1, 400/80 mg Bactrim (Sulfamethoxazole; Trimethoprim) - treats/prevents bacterial infections
1, 40 mg Protonix (Pantoprazole) -treats/prevents stomach ulcer/hearburn
1, 10 mg Amiodipine - controls blood pressure
1, 10 mg Mycelex Troche (Clotrimazole) 3 times a day - treats/prevents fungal infections

Also, I have another blood pressure medicine I am only required to take when my SBP is greater than 160. I'm a little concerned about my blood pressure. At one point today I had a 147/104 BP. That worries me. If I sit still for a minute or two and measure again, it comes down, but just the fact that it gets that high at all is bothersome. They tell me that the Myfortic can cause the BP increase, but that it should "even out" over time. It'll certainly get better when I begin to exercise again, too.

Honestly, I was so fucking bummed so often over the last week, I was thinking and even saying things that were really awful. At one point in the doctor's office last Friday, I was feeling sick from the meds. My husband was there with me and I said something like "This kidney will last me 20 years if I'm lucky, maybe 25, but then I'll be OK to die. I don't need to live any longer than that if it means going through all of this again. I shouldn't say those things to my husand because it upsets him. He knows I would like to live to be over 100 years old so it was upsetting for him to hear me say that. the good thing is that I don't feel that way any longer.

My surgeon did a beautiful job with the incision. I can't get over how perfect it is. I can see a little bit of it where the steri strips are starting to peel away. It's healing so well I think it will be almost invisible. I am looking forward to thanking him -- and for thanking him again for making the kidney work. I know another surgeon wouldn't have done such an excellent job and I'm grateful he worked on both me and my cousin.