Friday, September 14, 2007
Gaining Weight
I am really feeling gross right now. I knew I was gaining weight, but I just came home from work and put on some shorts. I just bought them about 4 months ago, but they barely fit around my waist and were, of course, tight in the ass. I've been aware of some weight gain, but it just seemed to come on so suddenly. It makes me feel like I'm losing control... I know I'll gain weight after the surgery. I expect that, but I'll be home recovering until I am back in decent condition. Right now, I still have to go to work and I am starting to grow out of my fat clothes, too. I know it's my own fault because I haven't been working out as much, but I haven't been eating a bunch of crap so I start to wonder if I'm losing my mind...I mean, is my body fucking with me or what? I wonder if this weight gain is part of the disease, but I haven't read anything about it so I go back to blaming it on my own slacker behavior. But I'm tired a lot and I just don't have the energy to go to the gym as often as I was before. Damn. I am sitting here on the couch right now, feeling guilty for skipping the gym, but so friggin tired I could just lie down and sleep here on the couch. God damn it.
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3 comments:
Hi Heather, this is really weird, but I came across your journal, and saw that you are dealing with same disease as you. I had all the same emotions that you are dealing with, and before my kidney transplant, I was on dialysis for 18 months (PD), and it was a nightmare. I had the transplant in April of 2001 when I was 15, and now I am 22, just had a son in July, and everything is working out well so far. I would love to talk to you since there are not many people that I can relate to in this kind of issue. If you need anyone to talk to about this, I know I could help out. I'm still having a hard time trying to figure out blogger, but I'm sure I can manage if I get a message from you. Take care and hopefully I'll hear from you.
-Trish
Hello! Thanks for writing me. Wow, you had a kid after transplant. That's terrific. I have been thinking of having a child after my transplant -- which should be in another 2-3 months. Luckily, I'm not on dialysis. Did you have to wait for a cadaver donor or did you find a living donor? I have a lot of questions.
I feel so petty complaining about gaining weight and other aesthetic things. I mean, I should just be happy to be alive, but I, of course, want it all. Maybe that's natural -- but women in particular? I am really curious about what kind of kidney match (my cousin's is only matching on 2 alleles) you got and how you've found the drugs impact your day-to-day life...among other questions...
I'm looking for your personal email address, so we can correspond outside of my blog comments...but still searching...
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