Hey Jack

I don't think I did anything specific to get out of my rut. I think your wife can help by making suggestions and/or pushing you to do stuff. Six weeks is still pretty soon after the transplant to expect the depression stage to be over. I was away from work for 3 months - only because I took full advantage of the leave time I was given by the doctors. I could have returned to work in 8 weeks. It IS life changing so it was easy for me to dwell on my own struggle - almost feeling sorry for myself. But when I returned to work, finally, I wanted to be normal. I didn't want people to see me as a sick person. That was my priority even though I realize now, I was still a bit depressed when I came back.

I tried to return to the gym as soon as I was allowed because being fit makes me feel normal. The routine was difficult to keep up because I was such a slug for so long (even prior to the transplant I was a slacker about going to the gym). I finally hired a personal trainer to meet with twice a week. It was an investment, but well worth it because when you're paying, you're more likely to go to the gym. Being active is the best thing I know to do to feel better physically and to change my attitude. The rest fell into line as I felt stronger and more fit. When I wrote that blog at 8 months, that was when I was nearly out of my funk. It might take others less or more time, but that's how long is was for me.

Still it's been 16 months now and you feel more and more normal at every milestone: 6 months, 1 year, 14 months, etc. Especially when the docs tell you not to come in again for 3 months. Initially, I was reluctant thinking "What if something goes wrong?", but after a couple of 3 month intervals, that feeling fades. I still go in for 6 week blood tests and those are reassuring.

Something else happened at 8 months that made a huge difference. A friend of mine died of stomach cancer. He was just 36 and he was one of the phone calls I didn't return during my 3 month recovery. I never felt so awful in my life. He took advantage of every free, healthy moment during his health struggle. Visiting friends all over the states, being outdoors, training his dog, buying a new, fast car, and just generally enjoying life. I realized that my transplant was really no big deal. I mean, it's an amazing thing and a miracle that people like my cousin exist, but I'm here, I'm alive, I'm healthy and I should do everything possible to embrace the positive and the excitement in every moment. I want to DO things and being fit gives me the strength to feel capable. I think exercise is the cure for most mental struggles. (you know, that aren't chemically based). :-) The mind-set seems to follow from the after effects of feeling strong and fit.

Good luck to you in your recovery. Don't beat yourself up if it takes time to get out of a rut. You'll get back to "normal" as you are able.